The truth about the fourth trimester

The truth about the fourth trimester

The fourth trimester is supposed to be difficult… and some might even say it is the hardest part of pregnancy. And by “some”- I mean ME.

With all of my babes, I struggled most during this phase.
I felt over and over that something must’ve been wrong with me.. maybe I was a terrible mom.. maybe I was broken.

I’d be irritable, filled with hate for my new body.. I’d feel like I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.. physically, emotionally.. I was detached.

I was always stuck in a place of secretly begging for help, but wanting to be left alone at the same time.

I felt overstimulated.
Broken.
Inadequate and exhausted.

This time around, I still feel exhausted. I even still feel inadequate. And occasionally I’m overstimulated.. but this time around, I have a softness for myself, which is new. I refuse to attach myself to my fourth trimester emotions. I allow them to come in and I choose to move past them.
I refuse to let them define me.
In my life, they are simply a season.
Yes, maybe a dark season.. but in plain, a season which will come and it will go.

This all means loving my babies and not feeling guilty over taking a break (or two). It means having a moment of rough emotions and not feeling ashamed afterwards. It means I can be a HOT MESS and not let that define me as a good mommy. It means that sometimes I’m super mama and can juggle all six of my babes and other times, I hide for a moment or two.

It DOESN’T mean I don’t love my babies. It simply means that I love myself too.

To all of us mamas in their darkest season, this will not and does not define you! You’re one badass mama, so keep on going!

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