utah

I had my baby during a pandemic

I had a baby during the pandemic💪🏻

This was by far my most challenging pregnancy.. not because of my changing body or even the aches and pains.. it wasn’t because the bed rest.. the swelling or even the painful sex. (Yup.. I said it🤷🏼‍♀️)

It was because everything that is going on in the world right now. The unknown.. the fear.. the misinformation..

My anxiety and fear were through the roof from March until.. well.. it still is!
At first the fear and anxiety was driven from my pregnancy and unborn childs health and safety.. not it is driven by the fear of having a newborn during this pandemic.

Postpartum

I worry if it’s safe for Hawk to be around family.
I’m paranoid of anyone coming near him.
A little girl touched him yesterday and I about lost it. I had to bite my tongue, but in my head I was panicked.

I worry if I’ll get it.. will my babe boy be ok? Will he get it too?

SO many questions run through my mind and so many are left unanswered.
I am in a constant state of fear and anxiety trying to protect my family from Covid.

This pandemic didn’t just add mental anguish.. it made me feel alone.
I was alone at every OB appointment..
..even the tough ones.. I had to record my appointments just so my husband could hear our babes heartbeat.

It made me feel guilty that my family couldn’t be involved more.

I have to admit.. it was nice just being my husband and I in the delivery room, and how my labor turned out- it was a god send.. but still- I did miss having my children there.💔

All of this was difficult, but it was absolutely worth it to ensure the safety of our baby boy.

I know I am not alone in this and we are all stronger because of it and for that, I am grateful.

So here’s to all the pregnant mama’s and the new mama’s who just had their babes! 🥂

You are not alone. I see you 🤍

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