coparenting · divorce · kids · marriage · mentalhealth · parenting · pregnancy · Recovery · truth · utah

Shared custody during Covid19

If sharing custody wasn’t already difficult enough to navigate.. now let’s add Coronavirus into the mix!

Y’all may be wondering why coronavirus has anything to do with shared custody, but it has a whole lot to do with it.

There’s no saying what happens when my children are with their father half the week any time- which never matter to me more than it does now. With the days of mask wearing, social distancing, etc etc.. and having your children away from you half the week, not knowing if they’re taking measures to stay safe and sick free- it’s scary.

Are they wearing masks? Sanitizing their hands? Keeping 6 feet apart? WHO KNOWS!? That makes sharing custody during this time truly scary. There’s nothing in our custody order for what to do and how to handle these types of situations.

Legally, idk what rights either parent has when navigating these things. Like, can either of us stop the other from doing things that can cause them to be ill? Like attending football camps, vacations, etc.. I HAVE NO CLUE! How about what will happen when Schools reopen??? I refuse to send my children back and will most definitely be online schooling, but my ex- I guarantee he’ll send them to school during their time- because he has shown NO care for the world right now. No fear/ nothing. He just lets our kids attend mass sports, etc with no worry or precaution.

So as for school, how will that affect my kids lives? How will we manage it all? What happens if my kids do half the school week at school and the other half in my home? It almost seems pointless, but I won’t stand down.

You see, there are reasons I refuse to send them physically into a school, reasons I refuse to do sports/activities. Those reasons are because I refuse to add to the outside issue, I refuse to risk any one being sickened. I refuse to put my children’s health at risk over “fun”. I refuse to get infected and risk dying or my baby dying. I refuse to allow my infant to be taken from me and sent to a nicu for two weeks in quarantine because of any selfish reason.

On top of being 8 months pregnant, I am also immunocompromised. I have asthma as well. I am vulnerable.

My families lives are far too precious to risk it for a few hours of fun, or blah blah blah.

I choose to take Covid19 seriously because my children, my family, my life as well as your lives- they all mean so much and we all deserve to make it out of this crap alive.

So circling back to shared custody during this time- it is frustrating. It is anxiety wrenching. It is scary because it is unknown. The unknown is terrifying.

I take it all seriously in my home, but I’m my children’s dads home- no one does there. He seems to care more about selfish desires than anything else. He put our son in a full contact sport camp right after Fourth of July and didn’t even inform me of it. My son was without sanitizer, a mask and there was no social distancing surrounded by hundreds of people. And that’s just one circumstance.

So as all of y’all can see now- it’s scary! The uncertainty and unknown of it all is terrifying. There’s too much at risk here.

I wish I could get advice on how to navigate this. How to handle this, because clearly coparenting is not my exes thing, so it would be amazing to be able to get advice.

Courts and mediation centers are not an option because they’re all under code red here still. And reaching out pleading with my ex just gets ignored, so I’m coming to my loyal audience for advice!! Please let me know of any ideas you may have!!

Maybe if you relate, how you navigate through these times!

And as always, I’m sending y’all some serious love,

Brittni

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