breastfeeding · kids · pregnancy · truth · utah

Why I can’t keep an OBgyn during this pregnancy

I’ll be honest with you.. this pregnancy is unlike any other I’ve had, but then again- aren’t they all!? It’s true that with each and every pregnancy that I’ve had different symptoms.. different experiences.. but this one has been a different kind of hard.

This time around my pregnancy started out rough.. I had morning sickness so bad that I felt hungover 24/7! I have been mentally and physically exhausted the ENTIRE pregnancy (I’m currently 30 weeks!).. they say your second trimester is the best and most comfortable one. LIES! 😂

Yes, my morning sickness and aversions left, but my exhaustion stayed! The second I wake up- I count down the seconds til I can sleep again. It’s not just that though..

I’ve got the worst case of pregnancy brain too. I can’t remember much these days! I struggle to remember things that are on my to do list! Girl, it’s gotten ridiculous!! I’m juggling a pregnancy, severe exhaustion, lack of sleep, constant heartburn.. on top of growing my social media sites, promoting companies, errands after errands, raising 5 children, custody exchanges and running a happy and loving home at the same time.

My schedule is always busy and booked anymore. The last thing I needed was issues with an OBGYN. I’ll be honest, I’ve now been to three OB offices in my 30 weeks pregnant, but it’s not my fault… entirely.

I am now 30 weeks and 2 days pregnant, and have no OB. I’m days away from being 8 months pregnant.. I’m supposed to be having checkups every two weeks right now.

To understand why I am without an OB requires some major explaining.

No, it’s not because I decided I wanted a new one…

No, it’s not because Of my choice at all..

This is the only happening for a reason beyond my control.

I’ll start at the beginning.. I started going to a local OB office early in my pregnancy. I was so excited because it was literally a 4 minute drive from my house- talk about convenient!!! But when I found out that I couldn’t choose a specific OB there, and that I had to rotate through several throughout my pregnancy (with only 1 being female- and me wanting a female only) you can imagine I wasn’t too impressed.

How could I possibly create a specific bond and feel comfortable when I rotate through several OB’s every time?!

Well, I tried to just ignore that. I figured who really cares.. was it truly an issue? No. It wasn’t.. until I went to an appointment there around 14 weeks, and saw an OB who was incredibly rude. I waited forever to see this OB- which I understood, but then he came in, he treated me like I was a nuisance. He sat down and immediately fat shamed me. Legit FAT SHAMED ME! He told me I needed to workout and eat less. What he didn’t pay attention to was the fact that I worked out every single day before another OB there asked me not to for a while because I kept bleeding when I did. He was ignorant. He was rude and he basically blew everything else off and ignored my (and other OB’s) reasons as to why I wasn’t doing specific things.

This hit me a very bad way. I left in tears and immediately called my Husband.

It reminded me why I wanted a female OB (my past times with a male OB have all been bad!) It made me feel judged.. gross.. and shameful.

I immediately went to an unhealthy place in my head.

I didn’t want that for an OB, so I decided that for my mental health and my experience with this pregnancy, that I needed a new OB.

I found a new OB office fairly quickly that was only 5 minutes from my house and only had female OB’s- SCORE! I started going there, and LOVED IT. I loved my Ob and the other Ob too. I loved the business. The staff was always very friendly, everything was decorated beautifully and clean. They seemed to truly care. I was hooked! I felt so content and trusted my Ob.

So what happened you may be asking… why did I leave.. especially at 29 weeks pregnant…

It wasn’t my doing or my choice I’ll tell you that!

I went to my 28 weeks appt and all was well. Everyone seemed normal.. everything seemed normal.. they had me set up an appointment for 30 weeks, so I did..

A week later, at 29 weeks, I received an email. The email stated how the business would be shutting down and the two OB’s were moving out of state. They gave two recommendations of where to transfer to.. nothing else..

I was FLOORED. I immediately went into shock and cried. My last two pregnancies were hard at the end, so I was terrified that I am mere WEEKS away from delivering, had built a trust and friendship with my current OB and now I had to start ALL OVER AGAIN!?

REALLLLLYYYYYYYY!?!

Come onnn.

I was extremely overwhelmed and unimpressed. Questions filled my brain like WHY are they closing??? WHY are the OBs leaving the state? WHY didn’t they tell me a week prior? WHY did they have me set up another appt?? Just WHYYYYYY in general!

I was emotionally unhinged. I immediately began searching for another female OB. I called and called and no one wanted to take me on since I was 29 weeks. I got rejected and rejected. Panic set in.

I decided to go out of Utah County and look in Salt Lake County since I had tried everyone else.

I did Hospital and OB researches. I decided I wanted to deliver at Lone Peak in Draper. My Husband has just had surgery there after amputating his finger tip during Army Drill, and the experience was amazing. I was able to see an online virtual tour of the maternity ward- which was amazing considering all in person tours are closed due to covid19.

I was in LOVE with this Hospital. You stay in the same room for your entire Labor, Delivery and Postpartum stay! They rooms were gorgeous- large and resembled a beautiful hotel suite. They offer a couple celebratory dinner as well as MANY other amazing things!

I just knew I HAD to deliver this babe there.

So I searched for female OB’s that deliver there- and I was in luck! There’s a OB office in the hospital that’s just women!

Ummm did God just answer my prayers!?!

I immediately reached out and they were so friendly… until I mentioned that I was 30 weeks pregnant.. the tone immediately changed. I tried to explain the situation my current Ob office put me (and many many more patients) in, and she put me on a brief hold. She came back and informed me that the OB would only take me on if I was healthy and didn’t have any issues in my pregnancy.

EXCUSE ME!?! Was this relayed correctly!? Was there a miscommunication somewhere because NO Ob should say something like that. Their job is to care for pregnant woman and their unborn babies and they clearly would have the knowledge of how pregnancy and labor work.. being unpredictable and what not.

The OB had asked that I send my records there so she can look them over and make a decision.. 🙄

I am now 30 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I am still waiting to hear if they will accept me.

Honestly I am so overwhelmed.

This shouldn’t be happening. This shouldn’t be this hard. No matter how far along a woman is, she should be accepted with love. Her health and the health of her unborn baby MATTER. And they deserve to be treated as if they matter. Not as if they’re someone’s old trash.

At this point, I don’t know what’s happening.. I am supposed to have a 30 week appt Friday and I just don’t see how that’s going to happen.

I’m trying to stay hopeful, but I’ll be honest.. my hope is dwindling.

I’ll update this blog as soon as I know, until then- prayers are welcome!

Sending lots of love!

UPDATE: 31 weeks pregnant- I officially have an approval! The OB I wanted has agreed to take my pregnancy on the the next 9 or so weeks!!!! 😭😭😭 TEARS OF JOY!

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